The violin brought me to Paris.
I felt that way when I arrived at Charles de Gaulle International Airport, the gateway to Paris.
Strange, isn’t it? I can’t even explain why I felt that way. But no other words seemed to fit. That resonated with me the most.
I wonder, Doremi-chan, how would you respond if you were here?
When I participated in an Italian competition in my second year of high school, I was the runner-up. I was the first Japanese high school student to win a prize there, so it attracted a lot of attention, and I even received offers for recordings and concerts.
But I realized something. There was a huge gap between the winner and my runner-up.
It was right after Ai-chan’s injury, and everyone was worried about her. I felt bad making Ai-chan, who was injured, worry about me too, but at the competition, I was able to switch my mind and perform to a degree that even surprised myself.
Although I didn’t win first place, everyone reacted as if it were their own loss or victory. While I was also disheartened right after the competition, I was glad that I could report that I had come in second place. However, I realized what was missing in my violin playing. I need to enjoy playing the violin more. If I and my violin aren’t one, I can’t move the hearts of the audience. I thought that if I couldn’t put that into practice next time, it would be a failure.
While I wasn’t brimming with confidence, I believed that I would definitely do well at the Paris competition last year. I challenged myself to do things I’d previously thought impossible and hesitated to try. I’d changed. I believed I had matured. I thought it would surely manifest itself in my violin.
When I actually participated in the competition, I found that everyone who made it to the finals had exceptional skills. No one made simple mistakes, and everyone carried themselves with dignity. So I held my head high too.
The fact that I was able to block out distractions and concentrate on my violin playing during the competition was probably not something I achieved completely alone through my own effort. When they called out my name at the end and my victory became real, the faces of Papa, Mama, Baaya, and Doremi-chan and the others floated up in my mind. Yes, even before Yada Masaru-kun’s.
After that, I decided to study abroad at the Paris National Conservatory of Music after graduating from Karen Girls’ Academy.
When I received permission to enroll at the Paris Conservatory of Music, I was truly delighted. Having won the violin competition in Paris probably gave me preferential treatment for admission. When I researched the conservatory, I learned that it had a rich history, famous musicians among its alumni, instructors that are world-class, excellent facilities… As I looked into it in detail, it became frightening.
Would I be able to graduate safely? Would I be able to keep up with the lectures? And the level of my rivals is high too, right? Would I be able to survive in an environment like that?
My feelings of apprehension were strong, but I realized I was looking forward to it even more. If I were my previous self, my first concern would have been whether I could live alone overseas. And to begin with, I wouldn’t have had the courage to dive into such a situation.
But Onpu-chan knocked on the door of a drama school in New York, Momo-chan decided to study abroad at a confectionery school in Paris. Ai-chan took a step from being a short-distance runner to a long-distance runner, and Hana-chan went on to the medical department at the University of Tokyo.
And Doremi-chan, who always encouraged us, finally decided on a career path as an elementary school teacher. Although she failed this year’s exams, she quickly started preparing for next year. I believe in Doremi-chan’s strength. Now that her goal is set, I think she’ll pass the next time for sure.
We can’t always be together. In middle school, we had all split up after all. To think we’d all gather again as high school students…
When I saw the MAHO-do building, I was truly surprised. I never dreamed that Hana-chan had grown so much while I was away, and we could spend our high school years together.
We became witch apprentices again and had all kinds of experiences. Unlike when we were in elementary school, we became more careful when using magic. I think we faced challenges without distorting reality using the power of magic.
I feel truly blessed. Wonderful friends, experiences that ordinary people can’t have, and my violin that has supported me all along. I believe all of them have contributed significantly to my growth.
When I decided to study abroad in Paris, Ikoma-san, the patissier at “Eugene”, told me to come visit without hesitation. Ikoma-san, his wife Ruri-san, Ruri-san’s younger brother Ran-san had all lived in Paris before, and Ran-san’s girlfriend Celeste-san is French.
I was truly grateful that Ikoma-san casually invited me like that. I had been thinking of asking them myself, but Ruri-san was pregnant and due to give birth in the spring, and Ikoma-san was a busy patissier running two stores. Ran-san was similar, and besides helping Ran-san, Celeste-san had started working at a cafe, so they all seemed very busy. It was hard for me to bring up the topic.
“While I don’t understand musical terminology, conversations in French should be fine. Before you go to France, why don’t we have French lessons together with Momoko-san so you don’t forget?”
Ruri-san welcomed me with a smile.
When I consulted her about payment, Ruri-san shook her head and declared,
“I can’t give ‘lessons’ where I take money.”
Seeing my troubled expression at first, Ruri-san laughed.
“Instead of monthly tuition, may I listen to you play the violin? Even short songs are fine. They say music is good for prenatal education, right?”
I readily accepted her offer. Calm songs that are relaxing, fun songs that will make the baby in the belly happy, and bright songs that are reminiscent of spring. Perhaps from seeing Ruri-san’s big belly so often, and Ikoma-san, Ran-san and Celeste-san looking forward to the baby, I was able to perform in a completely different way than when I played the violin with a tense feeling during competitions and concert rehearsals.
They knew the baby was a girl, and the Ikoma couple was struggling to choose a name. Even the minor clashes of opinions during this process seemed enjoyable. The room preparing for the baby’s arrival felt bright, and when I opened the window, I could feel the spring air. Before I knew it, melodies had sprung up in my heart.
“It’s a wonderful piece. Whose composition is it?”
Ruri-san asked me for the title of the piece, and I stumbled over my words. It felt presumptuous to claim authorship.
“Hazuki-san, did you compose it? It’s a bright, fresh song. Gentle yet dynamic, cool. When I close my eyes, it feels like someone else is playing it. I’m sure many different aspects of you are coming out in it.”
She casually continued with a smile on her face,
“After you decide on a theme, why not put the whole piece together? It would be nice if you could publish it somewhere.”
Ruri-san provided very accurate feedback on my performance. She said she liked my violin, but I wondered if her ears were really that sharp. Even when I thought I was playing the same way, she could tell when the sound was different, especially when I was tired. She said when she was an idol, she didn’t really like singing in front of people, but…
“I like listening to music. Instrumental music too. I wanted time to properly learn the fundamentals of singing as well.”
I feel like Onpu-chan said something similar after her redebut too.
In the past few years, the number of my friends and acquaintances has exploded. They are different from friends like Doremi-chan and the others from elementary school, they only know the current me. And after everyone gathered at MAHO-do again, I had more opportunities to get to know people from different generations. I’m very happy that we’re still connected, and they give me honest opinions.
I used to interact only with my family, my classmates from Karen Girls’ Academy, Masaru-kun, and Doremi-chan and the others, but now I find myself having enjoyable conversations with people who have different values and live in different eras. I couldn’t have imagined this as a child. This has certainly contributed to my personal growth.
The baby born in March was a cute girl resembling Ruri-san, like a beautiful flower. The birth of a baby so close to us made all of us happy. When Ruri-san was discharged from the hospital, she showed us her baby, her tiny hands, the way she desperately sought her mother, and her big black eyes. According to Ruri-san, her eyes couldn’t see things properly yet physically, but she felt that the baby could see and perceive more deeply than one would expect.
I heard they decided to name their daughter “Sakura”, which means cherry blossom, right before she was born. I thought it was a nice name that suits the spring. It’s just the season when the cherry blossom front arrives in the Kanto region.
Spring is a season when many things are born. Cherry blossoms bloom and fall vividly, and the leaves of the trees are fresh and vibrant for a brief moment, then the green deepens and transforms into the powerful early summer.
I transcribed the song that Ruri-san said she liked into sheet music at home.
“Hazuki, do you want to try a part-time job?”
It was right before Ruri-san gave birth when Papa approached me casually, as if he were inviting me to go for a walk.
In addition to films, Papa had started taking on commercial shoots. It seems that recent commercials aren’t just short ones played on TV. While even one-minute commercials feel long when aired on TV, I heard there are nearly five-minute commercials being made for online videos. I guess Papa got an offer related to that. I assumed it was to help with filming or some other assistant work.
“If there’s anything I can do to help with your work, just let me know.”
I replied lightly as well. Job offers have been steadily coming in for Papa, but when I thought about commuting from home to attend Karen Girls’ Academy University, studying abroad in Paris would cost more than twice as much.
I’m well aware that even just instrument maintenance costs money. And I know Papa and Mama are supporting my dream despite that. I could use my part-time pay for living expenses in Paris. That’s what I thought when I answered.
“It’s a commercial for a newly modeled car. Did you compose the music you played yesterday? It fits perfectly for this upcoming commercial.”
“Um… that…”
“The driving scenes have already been filmed, and the people shots will be filmed this week. The concept is for a cool family car. Oh right, one of the cast members is someone you know too. She’s about to start shooting. I’ll also have you participate while she’s there.”
“Participate as in just performing… right?”
“Fufu, yeah.”
Oblivious to my serious line of thought, Papa continued talking with a smile, in a way that left no room for me to interject. Before I knew it, I was nodding along.
“I was thinking of having you play your song from the Paris competition, but when I thought about it, the music you composed, Hazuki, is fresh and perfect for a drive from spring to summer. I just realized that yesterday.”
Papa seemed in high spirits.
“I see… is that so?”
As he gave me more details, I started thinking he had intended to get me involved from the start. Was this Papa’s strategic victory? Just as I was about to say something, Papa had already left for work. He mentioned that he wouldn’t be able to come back for a while due to location shooting.
First of all, no matter how much directing authority he has, there’s no way a director can just decide on cast members so arbitrarily for a commercial. Regardless of the composition, at least for the violin performance, it seemed like they had me in mind. I realized that later.
The day after I heard about it from Papa, I contacted Niwa Hinako-san. She was the “someone you know” Papa mentioned. When I told Niwa-san what I had heard from Papa, she said meaningfully,
“Fufu, I thought contact would come around this time.”
I found her characteristic little mischievous voice so intriguing that I didn’t want to talk more over the phone or email, so I decided to meet her in person the next day.
And then at last I understood the whole scheme.
“I wouldn’t call it that elaborate of a ‘scheme,’ Fujiwara-san.”
Niwa-san was originally Doremi-chan’s classmate who works as a reader model for a fashion magazine. She had already been accepted to a beauty specialized school early by recommendation, so she had various jobs besides being a reader model during the winter break.
Thanks to a referral from Doremi-chan’s former homeroom teacher, Yamaki-sensei aka Leon, she belongs to the same agency as his wife, the charismatic model Yamaki Minako-san, so it feels like she’s more than just a part-time worker now.
Giggling away, Niwa-san tilted her head and said,
“When I first heard about that job in January, there was no mention of Fujiwara-san.”
Apparently the offer had come to Minako-san much earlier.
“When I heard it was for a car commercial, I was shocked that it was a hugely different job unlike anything I had done before. I’m more of a novice than a newcomer… But the agency staff also told me the talent are more like extras in car commercials. While Minako-san is a famous charismatic model, I just happen to be at the same agency and match the concept well, so I figured I was an extra to the extras, so to speak.”
Niwa-san stuck her tongue out. Maybe because I’ve never thought about getting a driver’s license, but indeed, when I think of car commercials, I imagine large vehicles leisurely driving in the great outdoors, or compact cars running on cobblestone streets in Europe, and the names of talents or actors don’t come to mind at all. When I said as much, Niwa-san agreed,
“When I heard the director was your father Fujiwara-san, I knew he was a famous movie director, so I was nervous. But he seems like a very friendly, kind person. My scenes are very minor, but I’ll do my best. And I’m also excited to be a part of your makeover!”
“Make… over?”
I asked anxiously, and Niwa-san explained they had spring to early summer and summer looks planned out for me, with costumes, hair and makeup to match.
“Director Fujiwara mentioned before that he wanted to use the image of Luna’s transformation that you did at the ‘Five Pennies’ live somewhere. When he showed the video to the hair and makeup artists, they found it very interesting.”
When she innocently told me all this with a smile, I was left speechless for the next words. According to Niwa-san, since the car is definitely the star, no famous actors appear. I didn’t recognize any of the names of the other cast members she told me, which might be rude, but I suppose that’s only natural since they are stage actors and Noh performers.
I asked Doremi-chan and Momo-chan about them later, but they didn’t know them either. Maybe Onpu-chan would, since she performs in plays.
When I heard that if I declined, rather than my original composition, they would ask another violinist to play one of the classical pieces already under consideration, so I decided to take on the challenge. I had almost no experience in composing, and my piece felt rather rough, plus I had no intention of publishing it anywhere yet. But I asked my friend Mukai Riko-chan for advice. Somehow I managed to organize it into a single composition, recorded a performance, and had everyone listen.
“Hazuki-chan, it’s amazing that you can compose. Yeah, I think it’s a good song. Very refreshing, just like Hazuki-chan!”
Doremi-chan encouraged me.
“It’s cool! Uun, it might be a song that could only be made now. I think the ideas for my sweets up to now definitely won’t come out after I turn 30.”
Momo-chan gave her own example.
“Isn’t it a song that could only emerge in this season, environment and timing? I don’t know much about music, but I feel it has that momentum unique to the Hazuki-chan of today.”
Even Ai-chan, who was listening on the computer in her university dorm room, cheered me on.
Except for Doremi-chan, none of them are involved in classical music or anything like that. However, although the words they chose were different, I thought there were common points in what they said. Come to think of it, Ruri-san had given me similar impressions too.
I wonder if it’s okay for me to be a little more confident? Of course, the commercial won’t have the credits of the performers. I think instead of disguising my identity just as a gimmick to surprise the audience, Papa and the commercial staff probably took my comfort and well-being into consideration as well.
In the brief time before recording in the studio, I refined the song further, now imagining the featured car, the scenery, and the people appearing in it.
The recording involved playing the entire piece as well as playing in small sections, so it felt like I was giving a lesson. Dealing with the entire piece, which was less than 10 minutes long, was still a bit challenging, even though it could be considered relatively easy compared to a symphony, and I didn’t know how to handle it and kept bothering the studio staff.
My shoot was on different days and locations from the other cast, so the only ones I knew were Papa and Niwa-san. I was in a state of just doing as I was told, rather than actively participating. Interestingly, the hair and makeup artists, as well as Niwa-san, seemed to be having more fun.
Niwa-san and the others weren’t trying to “transform” me, but rather, they wanted a woman who fit the image of both the music and the commercial. So, I accepted the image change, just like I did with Luna.
Perhaps my face looked too young compared to the commercial’s image. Papa seemed to have a complex expression when he saw me transformed to look more mature with makeup and a wig, but once the shooting of the performance scene began, there were numerous strict checks, and we had to redo the takes many times.
Even Niwa-san, who called her role a bit part, was not used to the dynamic and dramatic production, and she said she was causing trouble for everyone around her due to a series of retakes. I’m glad that my part was filmed separately.
Since I had never seen Papa working directly, I expressed my gratitude to him afterward for this excellent opportunity. I was able to see a different side of him than when he interacted with me and Mama.
Apparently, my song was well-received,
“It’s still being edited, but Hazuki, your song has been a hit among the staff too. Everyone was surprised when they heard you composed it.”
Papa continued as he highly praised me,
“When I think that the client specifically chose me even though I’m not an expert in commercials, I feel a sense of responsibility. But, I think we were able to create something good thanks to everyone.”
Although Papa’s evaluation of me is very lenient, I knew he was strict about the work, so I believe that the overall result, including my performance, was satisfactory.
“Can’t I see it yet?”
Papa just smiled and shook his head. I heard that the first broadcast would be around Golden Week, so it would be well in time before I leave for Paris. I was relieved to learn that while my song would be played throughout, the actual footage of me performing would be minimal. Doremi-chan said she and the others would definitely want to see it when it’s done.
“Then I’ll look forward to it too.”
Seeing the tired look on Papa’s face likely from his editing workload, I got the sense I wouldn’t get any more details out of him now. So I just replied cheerfully.
From the middle of April, when I started going to Ruri-san’s place again, the shifts of Doremi-chan and Momo-chan’s part-time jobs and my French lessons became more irregular.
“I’m sorry, Sakura just won’t stay asleep for a long time. For French, we’ll arrange for Celeste-san to visit occasionally.”
When Ruri-san apologized to us, we felt even more apologetic. Ruri-san doesn’t even have time to relax by herself now, yet she still tries to teach us French.
But when Momo-chan and I offered to suspend lessons for a while, Ruri-san said chatting in French and cooking with us would be more refreshing than being alone with her daughter Sakura-chan.
Luckily, when it came to changing diapers, dressing, bathing, etc., we had experience from when Hana-chan was a baby, and more than anything, just looking at the baby filled us with happiness.
Sakura-chan, who was just born and all wobbly when we first saw her, seems to have gotten a lot stronger in just one month. She doesn’t wake up several times in the middle of the night anymore. A baby really does grow remarkably fast!
During Golden Week, there were concerts and guest performances, and I completely forgot about the commercial that I had been looking forward to so much. Papa was away for another job, and we didn’t have a chance to talk. Eventually, the time for the regular public release arrived, and I happened to be watching TV alone when the 30-second commercial aired.
I was only on screen for an instant, but I suppose it’s fine since the featured car looked great. I didn’t hear any feedback about the commercial. Of course not. There are plenty of car commercials, and my name and face didn’t appear, so it’s to be expected.
After the busy period of concerts and rehearsals, I decided to resume learning French from Ruri-san with Momo-chan. Momo-chan works early in the morning at “Eugene”, doing preparations, and during the lunch break, we take turns preparing meals, eating, and progressing with our French conversation. In the evening, she works part-time at MAHO-do or goes out for a sweets tasting tour. She’s really tough. Watching Momo-chan makes me feel encouraged and motivated at the same time.
Even though Momo-chan and I will live far away from each other, we got excited when we talked about going on a food tour together in Paris. Mo Li-san, who already lives in Paris, seems to be looking forward to our arrival too. While I still have some anxious feelings, I deeply feel that choosing the university in Paris was a good decision.
When Doremi-chan and Hana-chan saw the commercial, they told me,
“Mom and Dad said they saw it a bunch of times too, so I think it’s a commercial that’s been aired a lot. Hana-chan said she saw it too.”
“The long version will be viewable online starting next week, right? I certainly expected Hazuki to have already seen it from her father!”
Hana-chan wanted to see it quickly, but I myself had completely forgotten.
“Now I recognize the song as soon as it starts playing. It’s too bad Hazuki-chan only flashes by briefly. Minako-san has scenes of her driving, but even Niwa-san only has a little part.”
Hearing them say those things made me a little curious too,
“I wonder if I’ll appear more in the long version?”
Thanks to Niwa-san and Minako-san’s roles, it became a very famous commercial within our small town of Misora City, but as expected, few people noticed it was me playing the violin.
Since it’s not some scandalous gossip, I intended to freely admit it if asked, but I was shocked when my friend from Karen Girls’ Academy, Tamaki-san, directly confronted me about it. Tamaki-san said she figured it out immediately, but since Tamaki-san’s boyfriend’s mother is Minako-san’s cousin, she might have received information from that side. Still, I was happy that she complimented it as a very nice song.
Being transformed again unexpectedly and having my own composed song used in a commercial, I think it was a good experience before leaving for Paris.
I had decided to go to Paris at the end of August.
While university starts in October, I had applied early for a dorm rather than apartment housing. The Paris National Conservatory of Music has a vast campus with a park adjacent to it. Or rather, the university seems nestled right inside the park.
The dorm is built on those grounds, so while my free time might decrease, I thought it would be the best environment to compete and learn from each other.
It wasn’t easy finding an apartment I could freely practice violin in, but the dorm and university had plenty of rooms for personal practice too. I should also have chances to listen to other students’ performances, and encounter people from various countries. As Doremi-chan would say, it’s a feeling of “excitement and anticipation!” I started to feel that way.
I heard that I could move into the dorm as early as before September, so I planned to stay in a hotel until my room became available, and have Momo-chan, who starts school earlier, store some of my belongings in her apartment. I was thinking of going to see Momo-chan and having Mo Li-san show me around Paris.
Time flies by so fast, I don’t want to waste it, but the fall will likely be busy with classes starting. I also thought of taking a little family trip within Japan before leaving.
In between French lessons, that was the agenda as I prepared to go to Paris.
Those plans completely changed in early June.
The commercial that aired over Golden Week was the early summer version, but from the end of May, the summer version began airing on TV.
Niwa-san and the others had more shoots afterwards, but I had finished shooting with two types of costumes and makeup the first time, and I had also recorded several types of violin performances at the beginning. In the long version, my footage was shown for a long time, but I had no idea that the commercial’s song had become a topic of discussion.
Soon, the fact that I composed, performed, and appeared in the commercial became a hot topic and was covered in weekly magazines. When I heard about interview requests and offers to appear on TV, Papa, Mama, and I were on the same page. We decided to turn them all down.
I think the action I took after that was quick.
First, I consulted with Ruri-san and Momo-chan, and I asked Momo-chan if I could rent the apartment she was planning to rent earlier. Momo-chan readily agreed, and I was grateful for that.
Fortunately, since Momo-chan’s apartment belonged to a French acquaintance of Celeste-san’s, we were able to arrange to move in a month earlier.
For the preceding half month, I initially thought of just staying at home without doing anything other than French lessons. Papa and Mama also hoped I’d remain in Japan as long as possible, but staying hidden away at home and avoiding things somehow felt wrong, so I contacted Onpu-chan and GB-san in New York.
“Papa will handle things well, so don’t worry. I’ll talk properly with Ikoma-san too.”
“That’s right, Hazuki-chan. You were always busy in high school, right? Since we’ll really be apart starting in the fall, let’s relax and spend time together as a family.”
Papa and Mama wanted me to stay in Japan until the last moment. And I fully understood their feelings. As Mama said, ever since I entered high school and started working at MAHO-do, there were too many things happening, and indeed, we didn’t get to leisurely spend time together, the three of us.
“Papa feels that Hazuki has a talent for composing. It made me happy when everyone praised you. However, I think it’s not good for you to be evaluated based on just one song. That said, I believe that’s separate from speeding up your trip to Paris.”
“That’s right, Hazuki-chan. It may be hectic right now, but things will settle down soon. Mama isn’t emotionally prepared yet and feels lonely. Besides, I think Baaya wants to see you too.”
I understood and agreed it made perfect sense, but I replied firmly,
“Rather than bidding farewell to Baaya in Japan, I want her to come and visit me in Paris. Even after I start living in Paris, I plan to write letters about everything happening.”
I shook my head to give a clear response.
I know I’ll only be the center of attention briefly. To start with, I never aimed to be a composer, my song just happened to turn out well thanks to various ideal conditions. Getting attention just for that one aspect would surely trouble me instead.
“I apologize. Papa, Mama. I’ve decided to leave Japan earlier than planned. Luckily GB-san in New York also said I’m welcome to visit.”
I bowed my head to Papa and Mama. I still feel like a child, and I feel sorry for living overseas so soon. But I also feel like it’s wrong to keep relying on my parents here, or to take interviews or appear on TV as if I’m famous. I think I need to grow up a little more before I can do those things.
“I truly appreciate everything from Papa and Mama. I’m especially happy this first song I released was well-received. But my violin playing itself still has a long way to go. If Papa offers me work someday, I want to properly prepare the performance as a professional job.”
Papa probably realizes that it was a risk to change the song he had originally planned to play with the one I composed after he listened to it. I don’t think he was worried that I would get carried away just because it happened to go well, but it seems like he didn’t consider that keeping it a secret would make the story bigger.
“Papa failed to notice Hazuki had grown into an adult before he realized it. But I’m glad we got to work together. You’ll probably study composition in university too, right? When you create another good piece, make sure to let us hear it first.”
As I nodded, Mama’s eyes moistened slightly and she added,
“I guess we weren’t ready to let go of our child. Hazuki-chan is our child, but she’s not ours alone anymore.”
“……”
Feeling a warmth in my chest, I shook my head.
“I’ll also have trouble adjusting to life without you. I’ll visit Baaya from time to time and let you know she’s well.”
Seeing Mama start crying made me shed tears unknowingly too. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again. Before I realized it, I had started hoping to study music abroad, intensively practice violin, and become a professional violinist someday. However, my true future is still shrouded in fog.
Families may be separated at times, but they can come together again. As I told Doremi-chan before, my home will always remain Misora City.
And so before going to Paris, I visited New York, where GB-san lives. GB-san’s family lived in a rented house in a residential area in the southwest direction from the center of New York, which is similar to a residential area in Japan. Yada Masaru-kun also lived with them, working as an assistant while pursuing trumpet studies. As GB-san goes between Japan and New York, he had many acquaintances and was busy with recording and live performances, but as soon as he saw me,
“Hazukiii!”
He ran up to me and gave me a hug. GB-san’s family, including Masaru-kun, also gave me a big welcome. Though Japanese, Madoka-san has the expressiveness of a Westerner and gave me a hug so intense I felt I might suffocate! She already seemed to know why I had suddenly come to New York.
Somehow Masaru-kun looked more robust than I recalled too. More than anything else, seeing him exchange English jokes with GB-san and the others wasn’t something I expected to witness. GB-san and Madoka-san’s only son, Thomas-kun, was much more lively than when he was in Japan, and he seemed like a sibling to Masaru-kun.
I contacted Onpu-chan and decided to invite her to GB-san’s house. Onpu-chan didn’t know anyone in New York, and although she had met GB-san’s family a few times before, they hadn’t had a chance to talk.
I was hoping to help bridge that gap, and it appears I succeeded splendidly!
Onpu-chan seemed more mature than ever before. Living in New York might not be all fun, especially since she doesn’t know anyone here. Maybe because she’s been working since childhood, Onpu-chan is reliable. Turns out there are plenty of aspirational people close by too.
I decided to go visit Onpu-chan when she offered to show me around on her day off from drama school. When we were alone, the topic of the commercial naturally came up.
“It surprised me. Hazuki-chan’s commercial!”
From the emails we exchanged, I thought we had informed each other enough,
“You can even watch overseas videos on the Internet these days. In addition to the performance, you also composed the background song, right? Amazing. Such a nice song. Was that originally a long piece?”
I was bombarded with questions, so I talked about what happened this spring, how Doremi-chan and the others are doing, my French lessons with Momo-chan, Ai-chan’s athletic records, the renewed MAHO-do…
“We really could talk forever huh. Hearing all this, even Hazuki-chan becoming the talk of the town feels like a small thing.”
“The talk of the town… That’s overstating it, Onpu-chan.”
I figure Onpu-chan has experienced such sensations plenty of times.
Girl talk is endless. We got another chance to meet up the day before I left for Paris, so we had lunch together while walking through Central Park.
The wind was blowing pleasantly in the early summer. Onpu-chan bought me coffee and a hot dog as I sat on a bench in the shade of a tree.
“They’re tasty here, the hot dogs.”
I received the freshly made hot dog. It was different in size from the ones you see in Japan.
“I told everyone that I’m only grateful about the commercial buzz this time. I think I’m really lucky. But I don’t want to end it just on luck.”
Onpu-chan nodded at my words.
“I know. Thanks to learning about the witch world, we’ve gained all kinds of valuable experience… I think now we’ve been luckier than other girls our age. I’m grateful. But the real challenge is ahead.”
With Onpu-chan’s strong words about the challenge, my heart tightened.
“Hazuki-chan, from now on, you’ll be competing and growing with rivals from all over the world. There’s no definite goal, but let’s face forward and do our best.”
Onpu-chan and I shook hands. After that, we stayed silent until we finished eating the hot dogs.
I’ve been pursuing my passion steadfastly, and it has brought me to this point. However, the road ahead stretches far, and the destination is not yet in sight. It’s not just me; Onpu-chan, Doremi-chan, Ai-chan, Momo-chan, and even the next Queen candidate, Hana-chan, are all in the same boat.
“I’m glad I got to see you before leaving for Paris, Onpu-chan.”
I sincerely felt that way. Onpu-chan also said,
“Me too. Hearing about everyone’s efforts motivates me. And I’m truly happy to have grown close with GB-san too. Thank you, Hazuki-chan.”
Since Onpu-chan couldn’t see me off tomorrow when I departed for Paris, we were reluctant to leave each other at the subway station.
“Yada-kun doesn’t talk much, so info must be scarce, I bet. I’ll keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t get a girlfriend or anything.”
Suddenly bringing up Masaru-kun caught me totally off guard. Onpu-chan winked at me mischievously, but I couldn’t think of any decent reply, so,
“Um, thanks Onpu-chan! Well, I better get going now. I know you’re busy too, but let’s keep in touch!”
Surprising even myself with how rapidly I babbled that out, I waved to Onpu-chan and headed down the escalator to the subway. When I glanced back, I saw Onpu-chan waving at me, but she quickly disappeared from view.
When I arrived at Charles de Gaulle Airport, I first took a deep breath of Paris air. I hugged my violin case tightly. The violin that helped me win the competition seemed to be happy to be in Paris again. After finishing the procedures at the airport, there were several ways to get to the center of Paris, but I chose to take the bus to Montparnasse station. It took about an hour, but I spent it looking at the scenery from the car window.
I took the same route during the competition, but with the change of seasons, the city’s appearance changes so much. The daytime hours are much longer here than in Japan now, and they get shorter again in autumn. Until now I was a traveler, but thinking that I’ll become a resident from now on, there’s a deep emotion.
Papa and Mama were waiting for me when I got off the bus at Montparnasse. Both of them were carrying suitcases that were bigger than the ones I had asked for.
We were planning to go to Momo-chan’s apartment, which we had arranged through Celeste-san, but…
“Weren’t we supposed to send the luggage to the dorm later?”
When I asked Mama, she replied,
“Baaya sent a bunch of stuff for us to bring along. When she heard you were going to stay at Momoko-san’s place before moving into the dorm, she packed and sent us all this.”
The luggage looks heavy but is apparently lighter than it seems. Specialty products from Hokkaido make you think of seaweed and such. When I heard it was Baaya’s feelings, I gratefully accepted it.
Momo-chan’s apartment is located in the southwest part of Paris, while the university I attend is in the northeast. They are on opposite sides with the center of Paris in between. The apartment faces a small street and is conveniently located near both a train station and the confectionery school that Momo-chan attends.
The apartment has a bedroom, a living room, a dining room, and a spacious and bright kitchen, maybe because Celeste-san knew Momo-chan well. The dorm I’m moving into is a one-room, so it’s about half the size of this.
“What a nice place. I want to go see Hazuki’s university tomorrow too.”
After the three of us unpacked and tidied up our belongings together, we returned to the hotel near the Arc de Triomphe where Papa and Mama were staying. It was already past 7pm.
I decided to stay at the hotel that night too, and we had a late dinner at a restaurant near the hotel. Although I had only been away from Japan for about half a month, we never ran out of things to talk about.
Papa and Mama only had three days to stay in Paris because of work, but we went to see the university together, and one day we even did some sightseeing. Because of Papa’s job, we hadn’t traveled as a family for years, so it was nice to have fun days together after such a long time.
On the day Papa and Mama left, they seemed reluctant to part. But they told me that seeing my French being understood and my proactive communication reassured them.
Thank you, Papa, Mama.
As I watched their backs disappear beyond the gate, I expressed my gratitude to them countless times in my heart. And I thought I want to surprise them and make them happy a lot.
I immediately contacted Mo Li-san, and she was very pleased to hear about my arrival.
I wanted to thank Mo Li-san in person by showing her the photos of the costume she had made for me, which I also wore at the concert after the competition. In response, Mo Li-san sent a reassuring email, saying she would guide me through the streets of Paris, so I should leave it to her.
From the next day onwards, I began my life living completely alone. I thought I would have nothing to do all day and would slack off, but that didn’t happen and I spent my days as usual.
The other residents in the apartment were a college girl and a company employee, and although we didn’t see each other every day, we exchanged greetings when we occasionally met. Even if I played the violin for a while during the day, I was grateful that I didn’t get any complaints from my neighbors.
When I wanted to play the violin to my heart’s content, I went to a large park in the suburbs. It’s a bit far to go to the Bois de Boulogne, but there are a few parks within reach of the subway. People are doing their own thing in the park, and I often went in the morning. I didn’t want to disturb people who were taking a nap in the afternoon.
I made sandwiches with fresh vegetables bought from the marché (morning market) near my dorm and French bread from my favorite bakery, then headed to the park. Even though my playing time was shortened, there was almost no stress.
As promised, Mo Li-san guided me through the central part of Paris. I had already been to all the tourist spots with Papa and Mama, but I saw small parks, nice grocery stores, bakeries with delicious bread and casual restaurants. Then she also showed me a store owned by her Chinese mentor, a designer. Their exotic fashions made quite an impression on me, even if they were out of my price range.
I asked Mo Li-san if she’s also working in the design field, and she replied,
“I still have a long way to go. Right now I just help my teacher out. Doing research, running errands, occasionally helping out with the actual dressmaking… I’m busy everyday.”
Despite her slender appearance, she had become a tough and mature woman. It hasn’t even been a year since she remade my dress, but she seemed so mature. Maybe I feel that way because of my baby face. When I showed her the photo of me wearing the dress she made, she gazed at it intently and said,
“This is what it looks like when it’s bathed in light. Thank you, Hazuki-san, for wearing it well. I’m happy too… Ah, I want to immerse myself in embroidery all day long! I want to make a very elaborate lace! When I think that, it must be when I’m tired.”
Mo Li-san smiled faintly. I sensed she must have had her share of difficulties too.
“Mo Li-san, I really love these two dresses. Just by making some changes to the previous dresses, it turned out so wonderful. Not only is your embroidery delicate and beautiful, but you also considered the effects of light. I’m the one who should be thanking you.”
It was something I had wanted to say for a long time. When I directly expressed my gratitude to Mo Li-san, she instantly turned bright red in embarrassment. She really loves embroidery and lace, and she wants to make a dress that utilizes them. She said that she only has ideas and materials accumulating.
Rather than attending a fashion design vocational school to expand her skills, she chose a path of entering society. Fortunately, she can gain social experience and hands-on experience by working under a designer from her hometown, but by going in a different direction, there’s a danger of not just taking a detour, but losing sight of her goal completely.
On the contrary, Momo-chan and I decided to pursue our education at school. Tuition is expensive, and we have to study things that may seem unnecessary for our direct purposes, but in turn we gain free time and knowledge. You can’t really say which is better, so for now we’re just following the path we chose.
Mo Li-san was also looking forward to Momo-chan’s arrival. She said she’d gather information on places besides her favorite patisseries too.
Mo Li-san is slender and tough, with a positive nature similar to Momo-chan. The courage to go to Paris alone in her teens and knock on the door of an atelier run by a designer from her hometown, she has the guts of Onpu-chan. I told everyone about Mo Li-san in my emails. My first friend made in Paris, you know.
A room in the dorm became available earlier than scheduled, so I moved in.
Since I entered the dorm quite early, there were still not many new students around and the upperclassmen were away for summer vacation, so it was empty. Thanks to that, the practice rooms were always available. I was able to play the violin for long hours after a while.
Even though I didn’t have enough practice time after arriving in Paris, I didn’t feel stressed, but when I held my violin, I couldn’t feel the passage of time. I wanted to play as much as possible. I tried to express my feelings about coming to Paris and living alone, and meeting all sorts of people, through impromptu performances.
It’s like the violin is opening doors that I didn’t even know existed. From now on, I want to learn more different expressions and deepen my understanding of the violin. Even if it’s something that a genius could do from the beginning, I have no choice but to learn and master it step by step. Effort doesn’t always get rewarded, but there is no other way.
Once my life in the dorm settled down, I wrote a letter to Baaya.
While I can easily send emails to Papa, Mama, and Doremi-chan and the others, Baaya can’t use cell phones or computers. I wonder how many times it’s been since I arrived in Paris. It’s not like big things are happening one after another, but I want to tell Baaya about the little happy and pleasant things. Baaya believes and wishes that someday I’ll become a famous violinist. It’s still a long way off and has no sense of reality, so I don’t write a word in response to her letters that come from time to time. Just “take care of your health”. More than anyone else, I hope Baaya takes care of herself and lives a long life. Although Baaya’s letters are short, I feel the beauty of the Japanese language in the words that express the changing seasons.
Every time I read Baaya’s letter, I desperately want to see her. It would be fine even if we didn’t talk at all. I just want her to hold my hand… I guess that shows I’m still a child.
At the end of August, Momo-chan arrived in Paris, and her school started earlier than mine. It seems like it’s going to be tough because the classes are more practical than theoretical.
Being in the advanced class of a renowned specialized school, I was worried whether even the resilient Momo-chan wouldn’t break down among the older students, but my concerns were unfounded.
We exchanged emails saying we should go on a sweets tour once things settled down. Since we live in opposite directions, we decided to make the center of Paris our meeting point, and we’d like to take a few farther trips from time to time.
After a while, the Christmas season arrived. The streets of Paris are decorated in a chic way, and sweets suitable for Christmas are lined up in the stores. Mo Li-san is also gathering information about sweets, and there are many patisseries in every district of Paris. I wonder if it’s too much to say that it’s as common as convenience stores in Japan.
By the time the Christmas decorations had brightly colored the streets, I had made several acquaintances and friends, not just classmates who were also majoring in violin. Apparently my French is getting through. That being said, not all of my friends are French-speaking students, so when I talk to them, it’s sometimes in English and sometimes in French.
The lectures were mainly in French, and as expected, I couldn’t immediately understand the specialized terms about history and musical instruments. There were instructors who spoke fast, and I was often bombarded with questions. Class sizes ranged from small to large lecture halls. Sometimes I felt like running away. Knowing that it wasn’t just me made me feel a little relieved. The seniors also went through the same kind of initiation.
Although I won awards twice in competitions, here it seems to be the average level. To progress further I have to face what I lack. I feel frustrated that there are still many things that I cannot find, or even if I find them, I cannot express them.
Right after enrollment, I was overwhelmed just by listening to the performances of not only the upperclassmen but also my classmates. Everyone was playing with full confidence, and I was told to do the same. Japanese tend to be modest, but that’s not always a virtue. It made me reflect. On the flip side, they clearly point out your good aspects too. Various opinions were presented after each lecture. As Onpu-chan said, this must be what it means to compete and improve each other.
The lecturers include famous musicians, and I don’t think you can find a better environment.
As a result, I feel a tremendous amount of pressure. Becoming a professional is truly challenging.
And for a bit of relaxation, I definitely enjoyed going on a patisserie tour with Momo-chan and Mo Li-san. Especially when we went to the suburbs and stumbled upon a patisserie, it had a nostalgic taste and aroma, different from the trendy ones we had visited before. It resembled the baked goods Momo-chan makes at MAHO-do a little, and Mo Li-san, who went with us, seemed to share a similar impression.
The one making the sweets at the store was an elderly woman, and she reminded me of Baaya. Momo-chan slowly savored each bite, unlike her usual spirited self, with a touch of emotion. Her appearance left an impression on me.
Momo-chan mentioned that she wouldn’t return to Japan for the Christmas break, but would be exploring patisseries in Paris instead. Hana-chan was very disappointed, but I kind of have a hunch she’ll sneak in and come play with us.
We were also thinking about letting Doremi-chan focus solely on her entrance exam until she passed, but Momo-chan, who is in Paris, and Onpu-chan, who is in New York, are too busy to return home, not to mention me, who is scheduled to perform at the Christmas concert at the end of November. I wanted to see Doremi-chan, Ai-chan and Hana-chan too, and visit MAHO-do. Maybe Hana-chan felt lonely too.
While our travels cost money and time, Hana-chan can teleport instantly with magic, so she could actually visit anytime. But I hope she waits a little longer and comes bringing Doremi-chan’s good news. Talking to her like that might make her reconsider.
Doremi-chan, are you studying hard on your entrance exams?
Along with a Christmas card, I sent my first letter to Doremi-chan. Although we exchange emails frequently, I often hesitate to reply when we’re both in the busy season, wondering if it’s okay to bother each other. When we’re together, we can tell each other’s moods, but when we’re apart, it’s hard to convey our true feelings. Doremi-chan’s feelings are immediately visible on her face, but I can’t tell what she’s thinking now that I can’t see her.
I debated whether to bring up the topic of the exam first. I know she’s doing her best. Maybe she has some leeway this time.
I’m very happy to have the chance to play the violin at the Christmas concert. I’ll play with all my heart.
The hall inside the university isn’t that big, but since it’s the annual Christmas concert, it’s said to be always full. The day of the concert is the day before Christmas Eve, which is a holiday in Japan. I’m not a soloist, but one of the quartets, and except for me, they’re all upperclassmen. A freshman from the piano department was also selected, so we stuck together awkwardly off in a corner during the initial rehearsal.
The other upperclassmen who played the violin and I talked more about coordinating our outfits than the rehearsal itself. Maybe because it’s a famous piece we’ve both played a number of times before. Like it’s a given we can play it.
My Paris competition victory seems to be more widely known than I realized. There are numerous competitions all over the world, with the winners and award recipients in each of them being my classmates and upperclassmen. Many are treated as semi-professionals or professionals, and it’s different from what I had in mind for a music university.
But you know, Doremi-chan, I’ve developed a habit of switching my mindset on and off. My patisserie tours with Momo-chan are one way I do that.
When my classmates learned I go around patisseries on my days off, they ask me to bring back souvenirs and share info on their favorite stores.
As Momo-chan learned at “Eugene”, being tense all the time only leads to exhaustion. It surely manifests in playing the violin as well. Good daily living leads to good performances. I’ll hold off on solo concerts and composition work for now, and spend my days like an ordinary student. Next year may change again. No, tomorrow may change again.
It’s okay to waver just a little still. To think positively or negatively. To move forward or step back. To succeed or fail. I feel like this period still offers some leniency.
There are many rivals, and there’s always a sense of crisis, but it’s not the time to spend more than double the time practicing like the others. It’s about how to elevate what I’ve built up so far, I believe.
Our world of music can’t be expressed in digits. It’s the same for Onpu-chan, who chose acting, and Momo-chan, who aspires to be a patissiere. It would be too presumptuous to say there are no more basics left for me to learn. But I think it’s time to explore how to express myself while learning the basics. It may be too early for me to say this, since I’ve just entered school.
With my stationery in front of me, I repeated the cycle of writing, pausing, considering, writing more, messing up and crumpling up papers.
Doremi-chan, even though you’re approaching the exams, switch between on and off, and face the tests with composure.
I think I’ll have more days in the coming period when I can’t email due to busy schedules. Although we’re far apart, I’m sure our feelings get through.
Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year.
There’s much more I want to write, but I’ll save it all for after Doremi-chan passes the exam. I think Momo-chan and Onpu-chan feel the same way. I read it over once more before putting it along with the card into an envelope and writing the address.
Next, I wrote cards and messages for Hana-chan and Ai-chan too. Hana-chan reluctantly accepted that her friends wouldn’t be coming back over the holiday break, but I received a reply saying that she would fly over after Doremi-chan passed. Knowing her, she might take that literally and fly here, which is a bit worrying. I wrote back asking her to support Doremi-chan for now and sealed the envelope.
Ai-chan says this cold season is the on-season for marathon runners. She said she’s slowly increasing her distance to build up her confidence. Recalling when Ai-chan was injured still sends a shiver through me. But she sees that period as a major turning point and is working hard with a positive attitude. From now on, I’d like her to become a long-distance runner, slowly increasing her distance with confidence, and without overexerting herself, as I wrote in the message.
Right after I made a promise with my university friends to go pick out Christmas cards, I was chosen to perform in the Christmas concert and rehearsals started. But as promised, we all went to a novelty store in Paris and chose cards while making a lot of noise. It was a lot of fun. There was leisure on both sides. I made a lot of friends in the piano department and was able to ask for accompaniment, and I had the opportunity to talk to upperclassmen at the concert. A rival relationship where we can point out each other’s weaknesses is most welcome. I think I’ve toughened up too.
I previously mentioned to Momo-chan that I write letters to not forget Japanese, and she mentioned that she also made up her mind to write a letter to Doremi-chan. She only converts hiragana to kanji when she writes emails, but when she writes characters by hand, she’s surprised that she has forgotten more kanji than she thought.
I couldn’t afford luxurious Christmas cards, but I sent them to my family, Doremi-chan and the others, and people who helped me, including Ikoma-san and Ruri-san from “Eugene”, Celeste-san and Ran-san who helped with the apartment, Riko-chan and Niwa-san, GB-san and Madoka-san, and, of course, Masaru-kun. And, not to forget, Baaya. As I chatted with my university friends, I chose cards while thinking about each recipient.
I started thinking it was like New Year’s cards, but it was more difficult than I anticipated. I absolutely had to tell Momo-chan about my hardship. Fufu, she seems to understand the struggle I went through.
Momo-chan also struggled to write her letter, and I think because of that, she passed what I said onto Onpu-chan too. Thanks to that, I received an email from Onpu-chan.
Momo-chan made it sound like I boasted I could do better, so I wrote Doremi-chan a letter too. I denied it at first, but I was shocked at how many kanji I’d forgotten.
I hadn’t written much by hand, only my name and such, so it didn’t even feel like my own writing. How frustrating.
If I returned to Japan and couldn’t even read scripts, that would be troublesome. I thought I need to read more Japanese novels. Just watching Japanese news isn’t enough. Maybe it’s thanks to Hazuki-chan. Thank you.
But keep it a secret from Momo-chan.
As a thank you, in my next email I’ll write about Yada-kun’s Christmas live and the Christmas party I got invited to by GB-san. I’ll tell you in advance that Yada-kun still has eyes only for you, Hazuki-chan. Well, talk to you later!
Onpu-chan’s email showed a sense of ease, and everything seemed to be going smoothly for her. Doremi-chan must have been surprised to suddenly receive cards and letters from the three of us around Christmas time.
I want to go see one of Onpu-chan’s plays, but unfortunately I can’t make it this time. Since there will be more chances, I’m looking forward to that day. When she becomes the lead, I’m definitely going to be there.
I occasionally email with Masaru-kun, and we talk on the phone once in a while too. Masaru-kun, who is not very eloquent, is a good listener to my stories.
His email replies are always brief too. Are all guys like that? If he’s busy, that’s fine, and if his trumpet skills are improving, that’s great too. Momo-chan says we’re like a married couple in a lull. I have my own pace, and I’ve known Masaru-kun for many years. I think this is just how it is… yet sometimes I desperately want to see him.
The Christmas concert was a great success. I was nervous thinking of the French audience, my classmates and seniors watching, but I enjoyed performing more than I expected. When I decided to perform in a way that would not shame the violin that had brought me this far, my feelings quickly settled. My past experience in quartets really paid off.
I heard Masaru-kun had a Christmas live, maybe that motivated me too. Even though I sent him an email with those feelings, Masaru-kun only sent me a short congratulatory message saying, “Congratulations on your success.” For Christmas, he just sent me the characters for “Merry Christmas.” I wonder if he’ll do the same for the New Year with just “Happy New Year.”
I know, if I selfishly asked, Masaru-kun would definitely work hard to come to Paris and be by my side in tough times without a word. But that’s not right.
Just as Kotake-kun respects and prioritizes Doremi-chan’s dream of becoming an elementary teacher above all else, Masaru-kun respects my dream of becoming a violinist after graduating from university. That’s what I believe.
In the email Onpu-chan sent after Christmas, there were attached photos of Masaru-kun and everyone enjoying themselves at the Christmas party, where he was performing. I think she sent them to me out of consideration. There was also a photo of Masaru-kun playing the trumpet at a big club in New York, taken by Thomas-kun. With a serious expression concentrating on playing the trumpet, and the bright smiles of the audience in the front row visible too, it was a really nice picture.
According to Onpu-chan, Masaru-kun has significantly improved his English, and the day when he can play in a different band from GB-san might not be far off.
I spent my Christmas having a small party with everyone who participated in the concert. There were upperclassmen and famous performers, so I was more flustered than the actual concert, but it turned out to be enjoyable.
On Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, students who live close to home return to spend time with their families and go to church in the morning. This is a different Christmas than in Japan. I’m not a Christian, and I was hesitant to imitate everyone else, so I spent a normal day in the dorm.
I became a little sentimental. As I looked at the photo of Masaru-kun that Onpu-chan sent, I suddenly and desperately wanted to hear his voice that I called him.
“Hello.”
Hearing Masaru-kun’s voice alone choked me up, and I couldn’t say anything.
“Is that you, Hazuki? Did something happen?”
His voice was blunt but gentle.
“…I’m sorry. I suddenly wanted to hear your voice…”
“I see…”
As expected he didn’t make a thoughtful remark, but it was enough for me.
After that, we had a trivial conversation, said “Merry Christmas” at the end and hung up. With my emotions settled, I burrowed under the bedcovers.
The day after Christmas, I was invited to Momo-chan’s family for dinner together.
Papa and Mama said they’d come to Paris after New Year’s, so next time I plan to invite Momo-chan.
I’m sure everyone had a merry Christmas. Although this was my first Christmas since coming to Paris, I didn’t feel lonely.
Many classical concerts are held during the Christmas season. I want to perform at a hall somewhere next year and the year after too. And someday, to play at a classical hall in Japan. I want the sound of my violin to resound not only in Japan, but all over the world.
Hey Doremi-chan. I intend to keep playing the violin forever.
Whether as a soloist, as a member of an orchestra, or even as a teacher, that’s fine. It’s not that I feel the violin is all I have, but I have a violin with me. A violin that will take me wherever I want to go.
You once said, Doremi-chan, that the violin chose me. Surely, even when I become an old lady, I will continue to live alongside the violin.